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- My husband and I have four kids and thought we'd finally have more financial breathing room.
- We earn too much for need-based college aid but not enough to comfortably cover tuition.
- We've taken on loans for two kids and are worried about how long we'll be paying them off.
The other day, I was talking with a friend. We were discussing how parenthood has so many phases, especially when it comes to money.
I remember thinking, "If we can just get them through day care, we will have so much more financial wiggle room." Then, it was braces for three out of four kids and glasses for two out of four. Then came a car, plus sports/activities like cheer and hockey. Don't even get me started on teen needs and wants.
Boy, were they expensive, and every single one came with lessons on the cost of things and how they had to help fund certain items or wait until birthdays or Christmas.
As we moved out of the high school years with our eldest son and daughter, and with both my husband and me making more than we ever had, I was convinced we were finally headed toward some much-needed financial comfort — a chance to breathe and have a cushion. With two kids still in high school, I thought we would have extra money for sports, but I was mistaken.
The next phase of parenthood tightened our finances again.
College is expensive
College came along, and I felt like I was back in the financial trenches of early parenthood, when money was such a source of stress. It was not just the expenses of moving one of our kids cross-country and buying books and laptops; it was the loans — parent loans and personal college loans. Just as we move to get out of debt and pay off mortgages and car payments, we are sucked right back in.
After filling out the FAFSA in May, we waited. We knew our kids would have to take on some debt, and we would help them as much as we could. Because we are firmly middle-class, we fall into an all-too-common category: we make too much to get need-based aid, but not enough to make college truly affordable. Our kids received federal subsidized and unsubsidized loans, but when we calculated tuition, they still needed more.
They got some help with scholarships
My son was headed to a local state school to major in computer science. He received a very small scholarship. He wasn't going to live on campus, so his tuition was somewhat more affordable than his sister's. Without a Parent PLUS Loan, which was not offered to us, we wondered how to finance the rest of his tuition. We had to take out a personal college loan and cosign. While his loan was for a much lower cost and therefore more manageable than his sister's, I will remain a cosigner until it is fully paid off. That could take years.
Our daughter received thousands in scholarships thanks to a high GPA earned while getting her associate degree at a local community college. To minimize her loan debt, she took advantage of getting that degree for free, a privilege granted to pandemic high schoolers here in Maine. Even with scholarships, she still had a tuition shortfall we had to cover. They offered us a Parent PLUS Loan, though it is capped at $20,000 a year per kid. Unlike the federally funded, subsidized, and unsubsidized loans she received and will be responsible for paying back, our loan is debt that belongs to us for her education. Just as we began climbing out of the financial whirlwind of debt from parenting four kids, we slipped right back in.
Even with our loan, her federal loans, and scholarships, we still did not have enough to cover tuition, which included a meal plan and a dorm room. My daughter is also attending a state school, but it is 2,300 miles from home. That cost may be manageable for students from Arizona and some neighboring Western states who are considered in-state or receive reduced tuition for being so close, but it is not for my daughter. We also have additional expenses associated with being out-of-state students, such as travel costs.
We took out a personal loan
We looked at other schools, but her school is one of the few colleges in the United States that offers a B.S. in Forensic Psychology. We ended up taking out a personal loan for her, which I cosigned. That loan will allow me to be released from my cosigner debt quickly once she begins making payments, but the interest rate is high even with my very solid credit score.
From talking to several friends, I know we are not the only family struggling with the cost of higher education. This unexpected phase of parenthood has forced us to readjust our finances again, just as so many phases of parenthood have.
I am thinking of taking on a third job, and my husband continues to work as much overtime as possible. We hope to make payments on both our son's and daughter's loans throughout school so they have less debt when they graduate. I still have a very small balance on my first graduate school loan that has been deferred because I continue to take college courses to further my career in education.
I do not want my kids to spend decades paying off debt they took on so they could have a better shot at a career that offers a livable wage and opportunities for advancement. That is what worries me most. Sometimes, I wonder if the cost is really worth it. I really hope so.
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